A Little at a Time
by Subkulture
Summary: Gray ends it with Natsu, and watches from a distance, helpless, as the fire mage slowly begins to fall apart. Oneshot


_We watched him drink his pain away a little at a time._

Warning: Character Death. M/M. Breif mention of gore. Mentions of alcoholism.

Pairing: Natsu/Gray

Rating: K+

_-s-_

_._

_-s-_

"It's over."

The words tasted bitter on Gray's tongue; too bitter to stand and he takes a swig of liquor to wash out the foulness. It didn't work, instead the burning of the hard rum filled his throat.

Natsu is sat across from the ice mage with his head down. Gray has repeated those two words several times by now in a sad attempt to make himself believe them. It was working on Natsu far more than Gray, whose chest was tight with the pain of these actions. _Why am I doing this? What do I have to gain?_

He rubbed his sore arm in response. It was burnt, the skin twisted, forever marred. Today his coat hid it but the ice mage couldn't help but wonder when his stripping habit would get the best of him and the wounds would be exposed for all to see.

"Why?" It was the first thing Natsu said since they sat down. He did not look up to speak, he did not meet Gray's gaze – who was very thankful for that, as well as hurt.

Glancing down at his own trembling hands, he muttered, "You know why." Natsu just nodded, eyes hidden, drink untouched.

In the next second Gray is surprised to find that he is standing, looking down at Natsu's shaded face. His liquor is only half touched next to his fingers. "Don't come to me again. Missions are fine. But my house..." The mage let the sentence hang. His words were as cold as his magic and carried their meaning effectively.

Then the ice mage all but stomped from the room. Magnolians watched him leave with curious eyes and all Gray wanted to do was run, shattering the door on his way out before drowning in the river. But he didn't. He forced his back to straighten and his fists to bunch. He would not regret this. He wouldn't.

Behind him he heard Natsu – his _ex-_lover – swallow his drink before calling the bar maid over for another.

_What have I done?_

_-s-_

Lucy combed hair from her face, her foot tapping a steady beat into the floor. The four of them, Gray, Erza, Lucy, and Happy, were waiting on the last member of the team. Natsu.

Gray glanced over to Happy, who is abnormally silent during the wait. He is wringing his paws together, as if to remove a layer of sweat that had gathered. The tiny cat was hiding something from the three of them, not knowing what it was made Gray's stomach twist with anxiety. It had been a week since he had broken up with Natsu and since then the ice mage had seen his ex less and less.

"What is happening to him?" Lucy murmured. Her voice was quiet but the question was clearly directed at Gray.

"How the hell should I know?"

"Gray!" That was Erza. Her voice was as stiff as her posture, making Gray promptly shut his trap.

Happy tugged at Gray's pants leg then. The cat's face was drawn and sad, so Gray bent over and pulled his little blue friend into his arms. "Natsu hasn't been-"

Gray frowned. "Hasn't been what, Happy?"

"He hasn't been sleeping or eating. And he's gone all night and he won't tell me where he goes."

The news floored Gray, and he passed Happy to Lucy with stilted movements. That was his fault. Because of what he had done to-

No. _No_. If Natsu was that weak then fine. He had brought Gray's actions upon himself. All the fights that had grown too serious, all the emotional explosions had drawn Gray's patience too far. Even if Natsu had apologized excessively in the end, that didn't erase the scars.

The guild door moved sluggishly open, and a pink headed mage stumbled in. Outside it was raining and Natsu's clothes clung to his person, highlighting his form.

Happy was right. The fire mage wasn't eating.

His skin was too white, his stomach too caved, and his eyes too dark. He lacked the energy to even stand up straight and his hair was more unruly then normal. But the most notable think wasn't a physical trait. Natsu had worn his dragon scale scarf every day that Gray had known him. Today it was missing. To Gray, Natsu looked very naked and small.

Before Natsu had reached the group, Erza had met him and begun to steer him over to a seat. "Mirajane, can you get us some food and water, please?"

"I'mn not 'ungry," Natsu rasps. Gray is scared by how distant he sounds. How dead he sounds.

Natsu only nudges at the food placed in front of him. He doesn't even seem to realize how intent the two girls are staring at him. Even the cat doesn't earn a glance, even though Happy had a paw placed onto the crook of the other's arm, silently urging him to eat.

Gray didn't get too close. It hadn't been that long since the separation, and Gray loitering in Natsu's space wouldn't make the healing any faster or easier.

Because he never went near the fire mage, Gray didn't hear Erza tell Natsu that the mission was off for him. He only saw the dragon slayer nod slowly before picking himself up and slipping out the door. The plate of food was left on the table, uneaten but organized in colourful piles on the ceramic.

_-s-_

The next time Gray saw Natsu it was a stormy night and the ice mage was running home. A newspaper shielded his head from the downpour while his feet threatened to slip out from beneath him.

His eyes were glued to the pavement, it was a wonder that he had seen the pink amongst the grim; a sight that would haunt him forever.

Gray slowed to allow himself to take in the sight. Natsu was sprawled out in the alley, dirt and garbage coating his being. His once pink hair was less of a pink and more of a dank brown, the colour of vomit. In his fingers a beer bottle dangled. The young mage was passed out there.

His limbs were too thin. _His limbs are too thin!_ The skin outlined the bones, hugging then and accentuating them.

Then the wall blocked the sight from Gray's vision. The ice mage walked on. He was unable to make his feet stop even if his heart cried with each step he took away.

_-s-_

"Natsu, you're as scrawny as a rake. _Please _eat," Lucy pleaded, her hand clutching at the fire mage's. Natsu just pulled away time and again. "We can't stand seeing you like this."

"Give i' up," the fire mage snarled. "'m just not 'ungry."

Gray frowned across the room. How many times had he heard Natsu slur his words together? Each time stung just a little more.

_I _have_ to talk to him. This can't keep going and it's my fault – if he hadn't been so weak this wouldn't have happened but for fuck sake, I was the one who started this I have to-_

The mage snapped up, the room turned to him; he felt frozen by his own magic.

Yet, before he could move toward the fire mage, Natsu was already heading out the room. He stumbled halfway, before shooting the guild a venomous glare and slamming the door behind him.

Lucy still sat across the room. But she didn't stare after the dragon slayer. Gray wished she did.

No, she stared at him. Her gaze bitter and accusing. There was an order in that gaze – to follow Natsu. To ammend what he had done.

So Gray walked on stiff limbs. Leaving that guild, seemed to be the hardest thing in the world to do.

_-s-_

Gray stampeded into the fire mage's house and felt his heart sink to new lows. Liquor bottles were scattered around the room. All of them had been drained dry before being thrown hap-hazardously on the cupboards, on the table, and on the floor. "Natsu!" He was met with only silence.

There were no lights lit in the little hut and the air was dusty. Curtains filtered the sunlight that crept in through open windows. Alcohol bottles, dim lighting, empty as a crypt. Gray shivered at the eerie sight.

He sung out the flame head's name again, but his tongue had turned to sandpaper, and talking in itself had become an arduous task. Gray wasn't even sure if he had made a sound.

Creeping through the room, he headed for Natsu's room. If the stupid brat was anywhere hopefully it was there, asleep in his bed, and not passed out in some alley where Gray would never find him.

"Natsu! Wake up you lazy bastard!" he snapped, sliding around the wall and into the bedroom. Still, he was met with ear shattering silence. Gray's heart now sat in his stomach, its thrumming was the only sound that the ice mage could hear.

Behind the bed, he caught sight of dull pink hair. It was drooped and lifeless, not pink and spiked like it should be. But the very fact that it was there meant that Natsu was home, not asleep on garbage, waiting to wither away. Maybe there was still hope.

He practically vaulted the bed trying to get to Natsu as quickly as he could. Gray wanted to slap him and hug him all at the same it – that was the bitter truth about his self. Even though he had done the dumping he still loved Natsu.

When he turned his gaze on Natsu he couldn't help that he coiled.

He couldn't help that he turned and wretched.

He couldn't help but look back.

And he couldn't help the ragged scream that tore through him like the claws of a beast; more ragged than the tear that slipped down his cheek, more ragged then the gaping hole in Natsu's chest.

"_What the _fuck_!?"_

* * *

A/N: Few things I have to say: 1. I don't ever believe that Natsu would be abusive to anyone. 2. I don't think Gray would let himself be abused. 3. I don't think Gray would take that long to help Natsu.

Heavily (heavily heavily heavily) inspired by the song called Whiskey Lullaby. This is basically the first half of the song so if anyone wants the second half then please tell me :) and leave your thoughts with it.

Hell, leave a review anyway~ I want to meet all you gorgeous people who manage to suffer through my stories~ : D

Edit: Some - maybe all - mistakes fixed thanks to the lovely MiyuTanemura. Thank ya much darlin' :)


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